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A Starboard's and Bowman's Yarn


A Starboard's and Bowman's Yarn
Dedicated to The Order of the Bow

YOU CAN REST ASSURED THAT THIS IS NO JIVE
‘CUZ ‘TWAS STATED TO ME BY A STARBOARD FIVE.

‘Twas a sweep eight the likes as has never been seen!
With ports rigged t’ starboard and starboards between.
We rigged ‘er fer speed and we rowed ‘er t’ win
But first had t’ rights a most terrible spin.

We started the year with our stroke rigged t’ larboard
And our bowman’s rigger was bolted t’ starboard.
Be-twixt the two – ports was standard rigged stroke-side;
And starboard riggers was rigged standard bow-side.

But the boat was too slow and we wanted more speed
When our wee li’l Cox then spotted a need.
(Now coxes is known for their useless twaddles
But more space we did need between our puddles.)

Said our Cox, “You all rows likes a worthless lubber!”
“While here sits I holdin’ a right full rudder.”
“We needs all together t’ row this boat straight”
“So let’s rig ‘er up starboard – a German eight!”

Well t’ say she were German ‘tain’t actually right.
We rigged Four t’ starboard but opted for might
And rigged five oars starboard ‘cuz starboards is strong;
But three oars t’ larboard could not last for long.

Then ‘twas our Seven oarsman who was first t’ note
That we needed for more speed a starboard stroke!
And since ‘tis true starboards all have the most might
We said “What the hell!” and rigged all t’ the right!

What great speed! And what power! What set! And, what swing!
Though we did have a problem with one li’l thing.
‘Cuz try hard as he might our stalwarty Cox
Could at best steers a circle into a box.

Hoho! Then ‘twas our Bowman who answered the Call!
Threw his oar in the water and began to bawl:
“Pull long and pull strong lads and I’ll get ‘er straight!”
“And we’ll never lose in this full starboard eight!”

Turned he then t’ the port – left-hand clutchin’ the side
And with starboard arm and hand rowed in the tide!
With the strength o’ eight oars he then matched his rate
T’ the stroke o’ the boat and pulled the bow straight!

Amazing! Stupendous! Colossal! Unmatched!
We raced undefeated and fast and unscratched!
We rigged ‘er to starboard and then bet the farm!
And won fame and glory with one Bowman’s arm!

Now some said ‘t'weren’t right we dinn’t tips over go
But the skills o’ we starboards did splendidly show!
We kept ‘er upright with a forced disci-pline
And guv us the chancst to goes out there and win!

‘Course many a good rower has since been a-round.
But the likes o’ that Bowman has ne’er been found.
And I doubts if again that there ever will be
Rowed a full starboard eight on lake, river, or sea.

‘Twas a sweep eight the likes as has never been seen
With ports rigged t’ starboard and starboards between.
We rigged ‘er fer speed and we rowed ‘er t’ win
But first had t’ rights a most terrible spin.

TRUE IS THIS TALE ‘BOUT A FULL STARBOARD EIGHT
AND A SUPER BOWMAN WHO POWERED ‘ER STRAIGHT.

Gary Arthur Lundeen
6 June 2006